Honesty
I have a hard time journaling and recording my life. Part of it is that I feel like I have to be honest when I write, and a lot of times I don't feel like I want the truth recorded. It's easy to write about the trip to the beach, or how one of the kids won an award doing something great, but is this really what my life is about? So many times in my life the feelings I have inside are completely different than what everyone around me sees. We all do this of course, because who wants to read about things that are depressing or hard. My deepest thoughts have remained hidden almost my whole life. Sometimes I wonder who I am. What is it that I really love in life. What defines me? These are the things I want to write about - if I can make myself do it - because this is what my friends want to know about. How am I doing? Am I happy? Real answers to simple questions are the most complicated to answer truthfully, and those answers differ day in and out. Maybe today I have an average mom kind of day. Mayby tomorrow I wish I could run away for a while. Maybe next week I'll be totally in love with my husband. Who knows. Every day is different.
posted by Niki | 11:54 PM
2 Comments:
Niki! I didn't realize you had a blog! Recently I've been wondering similar things to what you were thinking aloud on your blog. I've been carried away with overdoing it with work and business and feel like I've lost sight of who I am. Any tips on coming back to that? Hope your surgery recovery goes well.
I like the idea of two "diaries." A public one, like a blog, and a private one that can be easily changed, deleted, and even destroyed if necessary. Not that I am against the truth, but sometimes our thoughts and feelings are brutal to others. Or maybe those are only MY thoughts and feelings? :-)
Love seeing you online, Niki.
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